I saw them at college fair, together, and it didn’t hurt. I’m glad to know they’re happy, even more ecstatic that they’re planning on attending college(because that means they’ll be more likely to get hired, not regret not going, less likely to struggle financially). But I feel this sort of emptiness knowing that I clearly still care on some level, in a way I shouldn’t. It wouldn’t matter as a friends thing, but it’s not even that. Other people easily move in and out of their personal relationships, but I always find things to hold on to. It’s been years now and they still plague my mind. I hope they’re doing ok, but I won’t ask. I notice sadness yet I back away, feeling as though inquiring would be the same as annoying.
What’s worst though is the slip of heat sliding from my chest. It makes my stomach twist and my palms sweat, it makes my heart race and eye sight blur. I’m illogical and senseless, the knowledge won’t cure these symptoms though.
I wish them the very best.
Edward: “You helped a woman give birth in Rush Valley, and saved her and her baby. You gave me an arm and a leg so I could stand again. Your hands aren’t meant for killing people. They’re for helping them live.”sobbing because my otp is so perfect it hurts
